“I volunteer with … to
make a positive impact on children without having them.”
The words sliced through
the large room, cutting the whispers and side comments being tossed between
members of our league. A smile
registered on my face as the sound of applause from various areas began to echo
my reaction. The question was simple,
“Why are you a part of this organization?” but returned an answer that few had
probably considered; one that for some of us, is true.
I don’t hide my age (or
my wrinkles), but instead wear each year proudly, knowing how blessed I’ve
been. I suppose that’s why those around
me have started to ask the ever so popular (and
personal) question – When are you
having a baby? I’ve fielded
questions and avoided discussions about having children. In the south, this forward attitude would be
considered impolite and rude, but in southern California I’m quickly learning
that “anything goes”.
Yes, roll your eyes if
you must, but it’s true. While I believe
your intentions may be sincere (bless your heart), your questions can be
painful to answer. I’ve watched those
that have been unable to conceive, even after seeking professional help from a
fertility specialist, squirm uncomfortably as they try to give a response while
not breaking down in tears. Others, with
no desire to have children, are left feeling like an outcast, as the
inquisitive person follows up with wanting to know why further implying they
have the right to know.
I write this while
watching my husband out back, swinging his new golf toy, and taking out weeds
as he goes. I consider our life with
children, running after them barefooted before they eat the weeds or trample
our flowers. I imagine them with his
green eyes and my blonde hair, pudgy legs and dimpled smiles. I picture a family of four taking on the
world. His next swing brings me back to
reality, visions of children are gone, and I’m left watching just my
husband. Unaware that I’m stalking
watching him, he continues taking swings and I smile considering how blessed I
am. We are happy. We are in love. We are blessed. We ARE a family. Though a life with children would be rewarding,
so is life without children.
Want to inspire a young
person? Teach or volunteer to
coach. Have an abundance of experience
to share? Mentor a child. Exceptional baker or Pinterest pinner? Become a classroom “parent”. Family and holiday traditions that you’d like
to continue? Be a Big Brother/Big
Sister. You, too, can make a difference
in the life of a child without having one yourself. The possibilities are endless.
So, before you ask others
whether they will be starting a family, for most of us, we already feel as
though we are.
An incredible blog that's just beginning but has already proven to be both incredibly written and endearingly heartwarming. Not to mention the insanely accurate portrayal of the "Southern" way of life. The cultural differences between being Southern and being in Southern California are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me why I love the Southern way of life. I can't wait to read future posts!