Playing the name game

This past weekend my husband and I opted to ignore our honey-do lists and instead play golf.  The weather was gorgeous and we figured the majority of people would be out celebrating Cinco de Mayo, leaving the course empty.  Much to our surprise, though we were crossing our fingers, we were right. 

After checking in at the pro shop, we found that we would be playing with a single.  Typically, this makes me nervous.  For one, I still consider myself a beginner.  And secondly, most people are less than thrilled to play with a woman.  Hesitant to introduce myself, I waited instead to be introduced.  Luckily, the gentleman had an ever so slight southern twang and I knew I'd be welcomed.  (Maybe he didn't have the southern drawl, but he sure had the handshake of a man from Texas and a smile of one from the Carolinas.)  After listening to him speak, I knew he was a man who commanded respect.  And so, I gave it to him. 

I complimented his swing, applauded his putts and acknowledged his impeccable short game.  However, the biggest compliment I gave all day was in one simple word, "sir"; immediately giving him the respect he deserved.  It wasn't an attempt to play nice or to catch his attention, it was simply the proper thing to do.  Period.


I'm simply amazed that in today's society, something as simple as the words "sir" and "ma'am" have fallen to the wayside.  Then again, so has "please" and "thank you".  I've read the debates, I've seen the arguments and quite frankly, I don't buy them.  Certainly your intentions are good when you propose that you'll use "sir" and "ma'am" to address authoritative figures or those "demanding more respect", but it's less likely to be used if not inserted in daily dialogue.  And beyond that, everyone deserves your respect, not just authoritative figures.  Isn't that what's wrong with the world, a lack of respect?


In the grand scheme of things, I'll take my chances.  At the end of the day, I'd rather be known for being overly formal and highly respectful than not.   I would prefer to have someone say, "that's not necessary" than to assume I lack manners. Yes ma'am, I'll take manners with a side of please and thank you!

Sweetie, just wave

Before my mother left California, I promised to keep several things about me the same:  my passion for others, my love of God, and the southern wave (typically followed by a smile and a nod).  Having grown up in a community where most people knew what you were doing before even you knew yourself, I've always been surrounded by familiar faces.  (Of course, as a teacher, this made it difficult to shop for groceries on a Saturday morning having just rolled out of bed.)  We wave as we drive down our neighborhood streets, speak as we pass each other on walks, and open doors for the elderly, woman, and children.  To put it simply, we communicate.  For me, the wave is the simplest and kindest gesture, letting someone know you acknowledge their presence.  And in our town, you wave back (even if you haven't talked to the person since high school, wish they hadn't moved in beside you, or hate how loud their dog barks come 5am.) It's called being polite.

In my first few months of living here, I have thrown my arm up more times then I can count.  And no, I'm not extending the middle finger when I do.  I've tossed the wave around like it's money on payday, greeting the families walking to school in the morning, saying "hello" to the postman as he stuffs our boxes, and a generous "thanks" to the men who maintain our property.  Surprisingly, very few wave back.  Even fewer acknowledge my attempt to say hello.  And quite frankly, I know they see my wave.  It's obnoxious- my wave, not the people.  Plus, my teacher flab arm is flopping in the wind- you do not miss something like that!  You just can't.

I haven't given up on the people here.  I keep waving, smiling, and nodding.  Eventually, it'll catch on.  And if not, at least I'll give them something to talk about!