It's hard work being a CEO...

Recently I became the CEO of a highly recognizable company – The Household.   There were several disgruntled employees (dust bunnies, coffee stains, empty refrigerator, hungry husband), but ultimately they gave in and emphatically brought me on board and welcomed me in to my new position.  This was just a mere few weeks ago and already I feel as though the changes I’ve made have been for the best (not to mention long overdue). 

In my first week, I knew I would be faced with the inevitable- letting go of things that have been a staple of The Household.  This task was of course, quite daunting, and left me with extreme anxiety as I began my job.  Shortly after starting, I pulled out the broom and began sweeping up the mess that had been left for too long.  The dust bunnies were the first to go and didn’t even put up a fight.  They knew their time here was over.  The coffee stains had other plans and proved to be quite resistant.  It was a struggle for power, but I eventually won.  The empty refrigerator was replaced with the help of some much needed resources (which I’ll happily share, soon) and I’m proud to say that business here at The Household is off to a great start in the new year. 

Below you’ll find a list of a few of those changes that deserved immediate attention as well as the solution that has made a positive difference.  My hope, is that as CEO’s of your own companies such Home.Is.Where.The.Mess.Is and Cottage.Gone.Crazy, you’ll find some peace in knowing these resources exist and won’t put a dent in your budget!

 

Problem One:  Empty Refrigerator

Visit this online recipe box and you’ll be ready to fill your fridge and your bellies with easy, no nonsense, healthy choices to those every day classics you forgot existed.  Yes, your meal can look like this:

www.skinnytaste.com
And it IS as good as it looks!

Don’t forget to head on over to the planning department for my favorite meal planner forms to help you with your shopping.  This will save you time and money when walking the aisles of your grocery store.  My tip, plan meals that involve some of the same ingredients over a two week period; one trip to the store and you’re done.  If you’re a CEO of a larger company than mine, you might prefer this.  If you’re lucky enough to have “assistants”, take a moment to look here before embarking on your next trip (the former teacher in me would appreciate you making it a “teachable moment”).

 

Problem Two: Overworked Employees

Right in line with the Empty Refrigerator issue, I found that my one and only employee was working two jobs, with very little to show for it.  I brainstormed and immediately thought of Thankful Thursdays.  Each Thursday I make a different sweet treat for him to share with his boss (GREAT option) or take to his other job.  I’ll start sharing my Thankful Thursdays in the future, but for now, enjoy this little sweet treat recipe from Kacie’s Cupcakes (my “other” job).

Triple Chocolate Peanut Butter Surprise

Prep Time: 5 Minutes

Cook Time: 20 Minutes

Level: Easy

Serves: 16-18 Cupcakes

 

Ingredients:

1 box of triple chocolate cake mix (Ghiradelli)

**Whatever else is necessary to complete the box recipe**

1 box of instant fudge pudding (surprise!)

1 bag of Peanut Butter Cups

1 bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Chips

Jiffy’s Peanut Butter (or whatever you prefer, those this is the BEST for icing)

1 bag of powdered sugar

½ lb unsalted butter at room temperature (or ½ cup Crisco for that crisp icing)

1 teaspoon vanilla (more to taste if necessary)

 

Directions:

1.     Prepare cake mix as directed on box.  Add ½ the dry pudding mix.  Pour in to cupcake molds (I always spray mine and try not to use liners unless making them for others. I spray my liners, too). 

2.    Unwrap the PB Cups. Push the PB Cups upside down in the middle of each cupcake so that they are flush with the top of the mix.

3.    Bake as directed.  NOTE:  You can NOT put a toothpick through these so always check your cakes starting at 5 minutes before the buzzer is set to expire.  Check often so they don’t burn.

4.    Eat extra PB Cups (check for quality control, of course!)

5.    Let cool for 5 minutes in tin, then transfer to wire rack.  Let cool completely.

6.    Prepare Icing:

a.     Sadly, I don’t have an exact measurement, as I like to just continuously taste until I think it is perfect.  But, start with:

·   1 cup of peanut butter, 1 cup of powdered sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla, and ¼ cup of softened butter.

·   Beat butter and peanut butter until creamy.

·   Slowly add the powdered sugar by ¼ cups.

·   Add vanilla.

·   Continue until you have reached your desired consistency and taste, alternating between the powdered sugar and peanut butter. Add more butter if you’d like it to be creamier. (I almost ALWAYS use an entire bag of powdered sugar-  ooops! )J

To Ice Cupcakes:  Place in Ziploc bag.  Cut one corner off to make a small triangle.  Squeeze gently and swirl as you go! Sprinkle PB chips on to! 

 

In a rush?!?!  Use a store brand container of icing, add peanut butter, whip and go! J

 

Problem Three: BORED CEO

Don’t let the day to day routines get you in a rut.  Remember, CEO’s take vacation days, too!  Get out and enjoy things (and the company of others) that make you happy.  I recommend at least once a week.  Gather with other CEOs and consider it a business meeting!

 

A small CEO meeting along the shores.  We were "planning" for sure!

Oh SNAP!

 If you've ever driven through a small, southern town on a Sunday afternoon, you've probably noticed a porch full of people- families gathered together after church.  Grandchildren are running around, parents are sipping sweet tea, and the youngest is always perched on the lap of the oldest in attendance.  The south is notorious for Sunday gatherings, though I'm sure they're not the only ones.



My grandmother, southern and modest, having her leg shown
after my Papa pulled up her skirt.

In our family, Sundays were always spent at my grandparents' home, either swimming in their pool during the spring and summer months or fighting for the corner spot on the couch in front of the fireplace the rest of the year.  There was always sweet tea, brownies, and chocolate candy despite the fact my grandfather is diabetic.  It was the comfort of being with family, the ease in which we came and went, and the release of stress that occurred when you walked in the door that I cherished most.  The memories are etched in my mind I just wish I had some to hold.


My grandfather, not really a fan of cameras, is hardly in any of the pictures I do have.  Now that I am 2,000+ miles from home and my grandmother has passed, I wish I had more.  Which brings me to the reason I'm writing today:  take pictures.



Like my grandfather, I also hated being in pictures (though I was always about snapping them).  I never like my outfits, hair... basically, I never liked the way I looked.  And so, I always found a reason to leave the room when a camera was around or turn my head right as a picture was being snapped.  That is, until I realized that life is not forever. 

Some time after my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (which you can read about here), I realized how important these family relics were.  I made my plea as we gathered for holidays and my grandpa, finally understanding, smiled for at least a few.  By the time we were married, my grandmother barely knew who I was.  I never got a picture of us together with her in my wedding gown (something I will regret forever), but rushed home after our honeymoon to take one in their yard.  Her hair was ruffled, her makeup missing, and her clothes mismatched.  She would've died if she knew what she had looked like-  to me it is one of my most cherished pictures.  She is real and that picture gives me a look in to what I hope will one day be our future-  standing with our grandchildren after they're married. 



With my grandparents celebrating our first week of marriage. 

So now, I beg you, take pictures.  Lots of them. And then... BE IN THEM!  You may not like the way you look, the awkward face you've made, or the lack of perfect hair and make-up.  But, the person taking it loves you the way you are.  And one day, they will be all that's left.  Have them taken by friends, family, and finally- professionally!  One day, you will be happy you did!

 



A Mom Knows Best

I have always given. It normally wasn't much, but it was something. It started when I was young. The picture in my mind is as clear as a photograph.

"Hand me my wallet", my mom said softly as we approached a stop sign off an exit somewhere in Pennsylvania. We had just visited my grandparents and we were making the six hour trip back home. We were tired, we were cranky, and we were hungry. No one really made a move for mom's purse. Again she asked, but this time with a little more demand in her voice. My dad argued and in the end he finally said no. (What my sister and I didn't know was that they weren't arguing over who was going to pay for dinner.)

We approached the stop sign and my mom whipped around, grabbed her purse, and proceeded to grab a handful of cash. She rolled her window down and she handed it to the man with the sign.

I studied the guy; average height and weight, scruffy beard, tired brown eyes. He wore a hat that at some point was probably white and a grey t-shirt. He blessed my mom and we were off.

As we pulled away my parents continued their argument. It was the argument that as I got older I also faced within myself. Can you trust that he's really homeless? Is he going to use the money for good or evil? Why should I help him, what has he done to help himself?

My mom's answer was simple: You don't know. As we ate our McDonald's, mom explained that you don't know how people will use what you give them but you pray that it is for good.

My mom has continued with just that. She is always helping others and donates when she can. She reminds us that it wasn't too long ago when we were also at a point in our lives where we had to reach out and ask for help. And people, not knowing us, gave. Now that we're older and have been blessed with more than enough, she believes in giving as much as she can. And, I do too.

We are our parents, the good and the bad. Luckily, I think I took away far more good from my parents then the bad. So, when people stop to thank me for what I do, I need to also stop and thank my parents. You taught me well. Everything I do is because of you. Thank you!

I've got a bucket, but no list...

Bucket lists are popping up everywhere these days. They're hanging on refrigerators, stuffed in purses, and checked off on blogs. It seems as though everyone has one and if they don't, they've at least considered it. But why?

I started thinking about bucket lists, what they mean and the value they hold, and I couldn't help but wonder if we're so consumed in the ending that we forget to live. Perhaps that's why the bucket list fascinates so many people; knowing the end will eventually come, you prepare by making expansive lists of things you'd like to do, places you'd like to see.

Perhaps it's just me, but lists make me cringe. (Maybe because I'm thinking of the one hanging on my fridge at the moment, detailing everything I must do before this house can be placed on the market.) They're like this evil force, staring me in the face, begging to be marked off and completed. When I think about my dying days, the last thing I'd want to think of is my incomplete list or the far-fetched, lofty ideas I never had a chance to chase. (That trip to Greece, probably never happening.)

So, instead of a bucket list, I'm contemplating just a bucket (and a few sticky notes). As I complete various tasks, visit different places, and enjoy new experiences, I could drop a sticky note in the bucket. At the end, at best, it would be full of things I probably never imagined doing (fixing my leaking toilet on my own -YES!). I could continue to live and as unexpected opportunities take place, log them, and then drop them in the bucket. There's no limitations and no scary list daring me to complete it.

Yes, I think I'll take that bucket... and that sticky note. I just made homemade key lime pie ice cream. Who saw that coming?

Pity Party Parking Only

Today, I felt sorry for myself.  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, my husband knows the only thing that will pick me up is ice cream, a chick flick, an old hoodie and one of his “come here, sweetheart” hugs.  Luckily, when he came home and saw me in my hoodie, he already knew.  True to form, he came over for one of his amazing hugs, offered to pick up some froyo, and let me continue watching “Say Yes to the Dress”.  After hours at a dealership, finding an issue unresolved, and being overcharged, I was exhausted and decided a “woe is me” attitude was more than fitting for the evening. I hunkered down on the couch, found a chick flick, and suggested he find a buddy or two to have a beer with.  He definitely did not complain.

Tonight’s movie choice- Mrs. Doubtfire.  Actually, it wasn’t much of a choice since it was the only one on tv tonight and it certainly wasn’t the pick-me-up I was hoping for this evening.  It brought up some pretty painful memories and a few tears.  This movie (if I’m not showing my age by now) was first released when I was just a little girl.  I remember seeing it at the drive-in with my sister and father during a summer she and I spent with him in Pennsylvania.  I watched the movie that night lying on one of my grandmother’s quilts, fighting back tears, wondering if my own father ever felt like “Mrs. Doubtfire”; wanting to take back the mistakes he made and whether he’d go as far as “Mrs. Doubtfire” to spend time with us.  Would my dad ever take ownership for his actions, work to repair a broken relationship, and yet always keep us at the center of his life?  I spent that summer and many others, wondering if he’d ever become our own Mrs. Doubtfire.

(The pity party is picking up…)

Shortly after one of the most heart wrenching scenes, I decided to change the channel.  My life, though often like a movie, is not one.  As quickly as I turned off the tv, I changed my attitude.  I can turn on the pity party. I mean, I can really turn it on, but I can also turn it off.  No one decides my attitude other than myself.  So, I can choose to be upset over events I truly have no control over or I can put on my big girl pants, pick myself up off the couch, and realize that my life really isn’t all that bad.  In fact, it’s spectacular.

I sat for hours at a dealership because I am fortunate enough to have my own car.  I was overcharged, but had the means in which to pay the unforeseen bill.  Was I happy about either? Of course not.  But was it really worth an entire evening of pitying myself and missing an evening with my love?  Absolutely not. 

This pity party has officially ended.  Besides, I've run out of ice cream.

Oh, sweetie... you went there!

“I volunteer with … to make a positive impact on children without having them.”

The words sliced through the large room, cutting the whispers and side comments being tossed between members of our league.  A smile registered on my face as the sound of applause from various areas began to echo my reaction.  The question was simple, “Why are you a part of this organization?” but returned an answer that few had probably considered; one that for some of us, is true.

 

 

I don’t hide my age (or my wrinkles), but instead wear each year proudly, knowing how blessed I’ve been.  I suppose that’s why those around me have started to ask the ever so popular (and personal) question – When are you having a baby?  I’ve fielded questions and avoided discussions about having children.  In the south, this forward attitude would be considered impolite and rude, but in southern California I’m quickly learning that “anything goes”.  

Yes, roll your eyes if you must, but it’s true.  While I believe your intentions may be sincere (bless your heart), your questions can be painful to answer.  I’ve watched those that have been unable to conceive, even after seeking professional help from a fertility specialist, squirm uncomfortably as they try to give a response while not breaking down in tears.  Others, with no desire to have children, are left feeling like an outcast, as the inquisitive person follows up with wanting to know why further implying they have the right to know. 

I write this while watching my husband out back, swinging his new golf toy, and taking out weeds as he goes.  I consider our life with children, running after them barefooted before they eat the weeds or trample our flowers.  I imagine them with his green eyes and my blonde hair, pudgy legs and dimpled smiles.  I picture a family of four taking on the world.  His next swing brings me back to reality, visions of children are gone, and I’m left watching just my husband.  Unaware that I’m stalking watching him, he continues taking swings and I smile considering how blessed I am.  We are happy.  We are in love.  We are blessed.  We ARE a family.  Though a life with children would be rewarding, so is life without children.

Want to inspire a young person?  Teach or volunteer to coach.   Have an abundance of experience to share?  Mentor a child.  Exceptional baker or Pinterest pinner?  Become a classroom “parent”.  Family and holiday traditions that you’d like to continue?  Be a Big Brother/Big Sister.  You, too, can make a difference in the life of a child without having one yourself.  The possibilities are endless.

So, before you ask others whether they will be starting a family, for most of us, we already feel as though we are. 

Conventional wisdom says...

"Conventional wisdom says that your 30th birthday is a milestone.  I don't believe this is true.  Every birthday is a milestone.  Each year brings growth, heartache, joy and wisdom.  Believe me, though, when I say the gathering of years go faster and faster.  Don't try to cram too much into each day, or even week.  Most things turn out to be pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  Love your husband, love your family and friends, love your faith and love your country.  These things are what life is intended to be."

 

Love,

Mom

 

 

Last month I celebrated my 30th birthday.  Whew, just saying the number makes me squeal... with delight!  Yes, despite what most people might think, I am thrilled to have reached such a "milestone" in my life.  And, my mother is right.  The years have passed quickly, gaining momentum with each tear, laugh, moment, event, and holiday.  And though the years have started to blur, I hope to never forget these few simple truths I've learned about myself and life.



1- Anyone can make a difference in the life of another.   Be the positive difference.  One day it might just change the world.  Okay, maybe not the whole world, but their world.

2- God provides the things I need; I just have to ask.  In other words, it's okay to admit I can't do life alone.

3- My mom was right... about a lot of things, but mostly that the word "hate" is quite possibly the filthiest word in the English language.  And hearing children say it, makes me cringe.

4- I dance to my own music.  A father-daughter dance doesn't require outdated music, awkward swaying, or excessive tears.  And yes, "Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns n Roses is absolutely acceptable at a wedding.  Thanks, Dad.

5- Change is inevitable, though not always welcomed.  Some changes are small, creeping up on us and happening before we even realize they've taken place.  Others hit us all at once making us question the foundation on which we stand.  Regardless of the size of impact, change is hard.  We accept what we can and adapt when we can't. 

6-  Know when to end... a fight, a project, an adventure, a friendship.  Actually, this even applies to relationships.  When the excitement is over and you feel exhaustion setting in, pull the plug and call it done!

7- Live fearlessly or at least try.   That means not simply existing from moment to moment, drifting wherever life takes me, but choosing my moments, driving my time, taking some risks, having more fun.

8- Take a leap of faith.  Shortly after we married, I found myself faced with the decision of leaving my career.  The thought of breaking the news to a class of 24 children nearly broke me, but I had made a choice based on faith (and the love of my extremely supportive husband).  Taking a leap requires doing what you think you can't and then never looking back once you jump.  Unless of course, you're taking a peek to see how far you've come.

9-  Glance back at life, but don't stare.  We often hear we should never look back and though I can appreciate one's concern with spending too much time in the past, I believe it's okay to take a glance from time to time. 

10- Be thankful.  “What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it – would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.” -Ralph Marston  Yup, that pretty much says it all. 

11- Understand that dreams change.  When I was little, I wanted to play professional baseball (for the Yankees).  Shortly after, I realized I lacked what it took to ever become a professional athlete, never mind the fact I was female (Shocker!).  Instead of dismissing my dream, I changed it. I vowed to one day visit Yankee Stadium.  Little did I know, God was already working on making my dreams a reality (no matter how much they had changed throughout the years) and in the summer of 2010, I not only visited, but I was invited to sit in the dugout.  Dreams do come true, just not always in their original forms.

 

12- Never lose your childlike innocence.  All those things that used to make you happy as a kid?  Well, guess what-  they still can!

 



13- Just be you.  Often times I find myself wondering why I don't walk in designer heels, have perfectly pressed blouses from high-end stores, or reach for my check book in my larger than life designer purse with a label the size of Texas which can be recognized a mile away.  But then, I remember that I tend to topple in heels, regardless of the designer, pressed blouses always hang awkwardly, and I can barely find my car keys in my small clutch leading me to believe I'd never find them in a Mary Poppins purse.  My hair's not perfect and my make-up is far from flawless, but I can wear the heck out of some worn-out jeans and cowboy boots!  And you know what?  Those gals with all that glam love me regardless.  My point is... in a world that works so hard to make you just like everyone else... JUST BE YOU!  No one else is more perfect for the job!